That night as I lie there playing through the images of the day in my head, I can hear my parents arguing downstairs. Until around the time my episodes started they barely even looked at each other in a cross way, but now. . .
Another strange life change to throw on the pile.
Reaching over in the dark I feel around for my phone and earphones. Maybe if I listen to some music it’ll distract me from not only the faint arguing downstairs but everything that’s happened lately. I just need a reprieve from my life, even if its just a quick one.
Searching through my library of music I find the one song that always seems to lift my spirits. As its upbeat tune blasts in my ears, I close my eyes, concentrating on its rhythmic beat and melodramatic lyrics. My mind’s gone, floating in that world of fantasy. That world I sometimes visit when my own seems dull. The world I haven’t needed to go to in a while.
It’s just a graze. A light touch across my lips.
Startled, my eyes fly open as a gasp escapes me. I quickly sit up and grab the earphones off my head in one fluid motion. My eyes scan the room, searching. The faint light of the moon enables me to see everywhere but the dark corner by my closet. I’m frozen in place as my eyes are locked on the possible hiding place, waiting for even the slightest movement. My window’s slightly ajar, but it was like that before. Right? I was hot earlier and opened it. I think so.
I feel my body begin to respond to my fear. Respond appropriately? Not likely.
Could I have been imagining it? Was my mind playing tricks on me? Hell no, I know what I felt. My body may be doing some crazy things lately, but I’m not crazy. I felt someone touch my lips. Continuing to look around, I slowly lean over to turn on my lamp. I twist the knob and the entire room is illuminated. It takes my eyes two seconds to adjust, but I can see there’s no one.
Even so, it takes only another minute to realize my body is at the point of no return, pushing me to respond. I’m panting now as I stare at the window. I can feel myself escalating, as all my instincts are screaming at me to move, to react. I feel like I’ll combust if I don’t.
I should be feeling scared, terrified even, but instead all I can think about is running, anything to get my body in motion. A strange response for a girl that thinks someone was in her room, but then, I’m not like other girls.
Devoid of any logic at this point, I throw caution to the wind and leap out the window. Oh shit, I’m barefooted, I realize when my feet hit the ground. Too late. With my body’s relentless insistence, I’m off.
It isn’t until I’m back, almost an hour later, that the full ramifications of this night’s events hit home. All I can do is lie in my bed and shake uncontrollably until sometime later I finally drift off to a much welcomed, restless sleep.